Bhakti comes from the Sanskrit root bhaj-, meaning to share, divide, belong to, devote to, and serve. The truth is that bhakti is really about sharing oneself. Today we understand it as devotion, but to devote oneself was to share. I think that bhakti is a beautiful thing as sharing creates more plenty in the universe. Bhakti as devotion, as worship, is a beautiful way to connect with the Divine. Indeed, what is connection but sharing?
Humans have a complicated relationship with sharing and serving. We are often preoccupied by our own survival. It is commonplace now to state that the reason humans are social animals is that it increases our chances of survival. Additionally, it is also common to say that the reason we live in communities is to share resources. I am certain that there are many people who believe that humans also love just for the sake of loving, as indeed I too believed this once. But most of our habits of loving are meant for others to love us.
Why should it matter if another person loves us?
When we are dissatisfied with how someone treats us, if we are not being given what we want, we often jump to the conclusion that the other person doesn’t love us. We believe that if we love someone or something, that we would give them everything they want. Unfortunately, not everything that someone wants is good for them, and when we give them what they want and they resent it, they will also resent us. Giving and love are not as closely tied as we humans would like to think. And we humans are not as good assessors of our own character as we would want to believe.
Of course, not all humans love like this. But most do. When you notice it, you can’t unsee it. “I love you, so you should give me something.” Love is like the price one pays to receive something from the other person. It’s like when people believe their prosperity is the same thing as a sacrifice.
Love isn’t enough to move parents to raise their children without abusing or neglecting them. Love isn’t enough to inspire us to reflect on ourselves, even when we can never escape ourselves. Love is not enough to change our behavior in ways that stop us from recreating painful patterns, the consequences of which cause us ourselves pain. Love is not enough to repair relationships because it is not enough to inspire one to change themself. We want to convince ourselves that this is a modern issue, but throughout history, people have made the same complaints. Rather than being a modern phenomenon, this is a human phenomenon that is laid bare in our modern social structures.
And how can love be an inspiring force of change when love is the mechanism by which one sustains themself? If love is the method by which one survives, loving oneself means that one must never change themselves. Here, survival begins to encompass every level of one’s being. Survival of the body and survival of the self become one. This is an extremely unstable way to love. This is an extremely unstable way of being.
This kind of self-serving love is extremely clever, because it removes the one thing that would allow one to truly connect with other beings. It removes what would be required to change the Self; it removes reflection. This is why when one loves themselves through recognition and reflection, not only do they build a stronger foundation of Self, but they also find that their external relationships stabilize. It is not only because they are able to come to those relationships from a more stable place, but also it is because each relationship is not another liability. How horrible to view the whole universe as a liability rather than a wonder, and yet, self-serving love reduces the miracle of the Brahman to a faulty vending machine!
In order to have a stable sense of Self, one must make the transition from a love of taking to a love of giving. This is not an easy transition and requires a lot of spiritual work. But it is a worthy cause, if for no other reason than it improves the world around us. It makes life more bearable, and it strengthens us. It is scary to love without expectation or return because it is not how humans have structured their societies.
Love and one’s practice of love is a choice.
I have explored bhakti here as love, and indeed, that comes from my own experience. Bhakti yoga, or the practice and cultivation of love, “love work”, is a conscious decision to exercise love and devotion from a place of giving rather than taking. It requires one to be present and to build this is a skill. In modern practice, we think of bhakti as just singing songs and ritualistic veneration while paying lip service to the love part. But if love is a conscious decision and it is work, then love is not just a feeling but something that one can grow in themselves and the world around them.
Bhakti yoga is the practice of connecting with Divinity through love and devotion.
As humans, we approach Divinity with our own lens. And the beauty of love is that it encourages us to try to understand the other party. This is why it is such a powerful method of connecting with Divinity. Though we as humans are not “perfect” in love, we do not have to be. The power of sincere love is that it aims to understand and grow together. This is the kind of love that deities accept.
There are many ways to connect to Divinity through bhakti yoga. The spiritual journey has many milestones, but there is not a set order in my experience. All souls experience all the things they must until they find what they are searching for, and it is the union between the seeker and the sought that brings peace. Whatever understanding helps a soul in this way is the understanding that will free them. That is why there are so many infinite paths; each soul is on its own individual journey.
What are you seeking and why?
Many spiritual practitioners and sadhakas are seeking connection with Divinity, and they often begin with deity work. And so a common point in the journey is to practice bhakti towards deities. This is also a lovely way to approach Divinity. Deities are often pleased with sincere love, because it demonstrates a willingness to grow and change in the human party. However, deities do not love the way that humans do. Early on, until one becomes acclimated to the love of deities or until one has developed more of a giving love rather than taking love, relationships with deities can be painful. But for as long as we approach Divinity through the human lens of love as and for survival, all relationships are painful. That pain is just highlighted in these relationships.
The truth is that when deities love, they reveal the truth. They remove false things from your path. They remove false relationships. They remove the work that is unstable or the circumstances that were illusory. They will be your companions as you rebuild and help you at every step. But this is the thing that hurts humans the most.
We often turn to deities to take from them in return for the love we give them. However, deities do not give or take based on love. They do all things according to their duty. It is the revelation of truth that comes from love. A deity’s love is their companionship and their counsel. It is their guidance. It is not typically the bestowing of riches or prosperity; they are not as concerned with your physical body as they are concerned with your soul. For them, love is a choice that is not tied to survival. They will move accordingly.
And that is exactly why bhakti yoga is such an effective way of connecting with them. They are extremely ancient, wise, and mature beings. As deities, who for my purposes are just souls with jobs, are experts in loving selflessly and performing their duties independent of their sense of love. They are more than equipped to guide us from the smallest bit of love that any human offers with a pure heart and intent, with a pure bhāva. Approaching deities through bhakti means that they will help you grow your bhakti.
Bhakti yoga is the practice of cultivating a love that gives, that is selfless. This is bhakti as serving and sharing. It is giving rather than taking. Bhakti is the extremely important work of untying love from survival.
Bhakti is also the practice of universalizing our love. This is what it would mean to transcend the human; it is to learn to practice a love that can and does encompass the Brahman in its entirety rather than tries to shape it to fit our desire. This is bhakti as belonging, but it is also bhakti as devotion. When one understands how love can divide to share but unify to belong, one has the freedom to choose who they will become and how they will act from a space of love. That is why in every path, Dvaita, Dvaita-Advaita, Advaita, and all others, whether one approaches Divinity as Separateness or Oneness, ultimately, bhakti allows us to develop a deeper understanding.
The greatest thing about bhakti is that love feels good. It feels good to love, whether we are giving or taking love. And so bhakti is a space where one can share themselves fully and face themselves without fear. True love makes one fearless and bold; it makes one immense. That is the power of bhakti.
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